Defense Mechanisms

I notice many defense mechanisms around me in others and in myself. My family and I are staying with a friend and her children. She was recently told by her long-time boyfriend that she needs to move on with her life. He left her for another woman and moved to another state. My friend is in denial by refusing to accept reality because it is too painful. She still says he loves her and that they may be able to get back together if he would just “come to his senses.” This is a disadvantage for her. She is only hurting herself more by not confronting the truth.

I also notice myself using displacement. I become stressed out over everything I am dealing with. When I have a problem or issue with someone or a certain situation, I can place the blame or shift my attention to something else (which only upsets me even more). I can find many things or issues that I displace so I can try to deal with them but it only masks the issues temporarily. This is an advantage at times and at others, when I do not go back and deal with those issues, it can be a disadvantage.

However, going back to school to further my education is a way I redirect my feelings and motives. My step-father use to tell me that I “would never go to college and become someone.” Because he hurt in me in so many ways during my childhood, I wanted to do something that would make an impact on others around me. This is an advantage in growing in my personal life and professional life.

Morris, C. G., & Maisto, A. A. (2005). Psychology: An Introduction (12th ed.). Upper Saddle River, NJ: Prentice Hall.